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A story of “I would rather die of sweetness than go home”

A story of “I would rather die of sweetness than go home”
January 3, 2021 Eastern Newspaper


Irene Makarius,

Tharaka-Nithi County is one of the 47 counties of Kenya located in Kenya’s former Eastern Province. The county has an area of 2609 km² and as of the 2019 census a population of 393,177. Tharaka-Nithi County is the home to the Chuka, Muthambi, Mwimbi and Tharaka sub tribes of the Ameru community.

The County is endowed with beautiful tourist attractions… Today My Focus goes to a small local Market in Tharaka.

A market christened “Murio Mburaga.”

A visit to the market directed me to an elderly Mzee who sat me on a rock and summarized a story I had heard but with no legitimal Myth. I needed an hypothesis with a bit of qualifying information..

And so my old Man started..

Spitting on the ground as he laments

Nkirote is not a Tharaka Maiden name. You come from Imenti and you want to steal our story and make it yours. You people from Meru think we are stupid. Where did you hear of the name Nkirote in Tharaka?

Well I did not expect that and somehow I froze for some moments.. I tried to tell him that I was speaking in Tharaka dialect and he tells me so many people know kitharaka and he won’t buy that. I am an impersonating Tharaka.

Being a corrupt Kenyan who thinks money speaks, I get to my bag and get some 500 shilling note which I give him in exchange for the story.

*Mistake number one*

The old guy charges at me and curses me to some weird chanting..He tells me I have come all the way from Meru County to give him 500 note to betray his village. I try to apologize but he was very annoyed. He tells me to get up and go back to my county and never set my foot on that place again. I am scared by now..But you know I am a Tharaka so am gonna fight this battle diligently..

I take my I.D to show him and he tells me to get lost because he cannot read.. I walk to some distance coz this guy is spitting allover and am thinking.. ” Nkirote you are completely finished. You landed on a witch”

I told him I belong to my forefathers Mwagitiri Clan. He then told me to mention all the clans we ( Mwagitiri ) should not “trade-in”.. I told him Kathoga and went quiet..

He was waiting for more but that was the much I knew about this clan thing.I tried texting Simon Mitambo for a clan “mwakenya” there was no network..

I ended up telling the guy I know “us” and akina Mutuiri Tnc Gitonga belong to the Giciaro thing and that made him completely believe in me being a Tharaka.I then told him I got another Giciaro called Mutembei Njeru who comes there often with the woman rep crew and He got excited… (Lemmi not say how he described my Chairman Mutembei Njeru)

We were now at peace,I  now looked like I could be trusted..He cleared his throat and just when I thought we were beginning the story session, He asked me for the 500 note he had rejected ..Shocked I handed him the note..He stood up spit on the note and then hell broke loose…This guy spat on me blessing me with the blessings of Abraham,Isaac, and Jacob but in an African Native language..I had to cover my mouth because the spitting this Mzee did to me was traditionally spiritual.

For a moment I was sure I was being bewitched or something…

When he was done he placed the 500 note in some not very friendly quarters and then he smiled..

“Nkirote wa Makarius imbije abagu.Aari Muchore gwakwa Mono Ntiiji iku aurire(Nkirote Makarius I know your father..He was my friend but I don’t know where he disappeared to..)’

We uh I was home…

Then the story of Murio Mburaga.

A story of “I would rather die of sweetness than go home”

A story of a bull, a village Elder,A Ripe woman and a cup of traditional Muratina

The story behind Murio mburaga. …

Read this as I finish putting down the writing

Coming back with real authenticity.

Tharaka my home

Tharaka Nithi my county…..

The tourist with the facts

The mzee refused photography but this gentleman here gave me a warning..

But I got the story anyway. Scary

Those that I used your names to make a way don’t charge at me, after all, we use Jesus’ name to make a way and he smiles at us….

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